The ugly tattooed swingers euphemise
And call their mucky hobby "tryst"
But if i saw another man touch you
I'd break his fucking wrists

"monogamy's not natural, we can't survive"
That's what he'll say
He loves to swap, he's open-minded
But don't dare suggest he's gay

And maybe we're just lucky
Maybe our connection is unique
And if that's really just what normal people do
Aren't you proud to be a freak ?

The so-called "doctor" gray's a billionaire
Because he's got the sexes sussed
We're a different race, we can't communicate
And mind-games are a must

But if you need a man, just buy the book
And follow all the rules
There's no-one quicker to splash out
Than vulnerable, desperate lonely fools

Do you know enough to circle me a "yes"
In just three minutes, can i suitably impress
Why don't we ignore the whistle
Just a look, a smile, a kiss'll tell you
All you really need to know

And maybe we're just different
Maybe we're nature's surprise
So put down the book, log off,
And keep your wallet closed
And just look me in the eyes