I wake up every morning, Six o'clock, I`m right on time
I eat a low fat breakfast, I tie a perfect tie
I kiss the wife, I hug the kids, I pat the dogs and cats
I never lose anything, my car keys or my hat

'Cause I`m the man of the year
I`m the man of the year

I never cheat at finals, or miss a day at school
My urine tests are perfect, my prostate is a jewel

'Cause I`m the man of the year
I`m the man of the year
'Cause I`m the man of the year
I`m never, ever jealous
Never, ever cruel
I`m a graduate of Harvard
Where I never broke the rules

The queen made me a knight
The pope made me a saint
The president plays golf with me
I make Madonna faint

So why am I so lonely
Depressed and in despair
If I pull this trigger in my mouth will anybody care

It was the greatest funeral, I laid in perfect state
And later I will meet the lord, I bet he just can`t wait

To meet the man of the year
I`m the man of the year
Stand in line to meet the man
I`m the man, I`m the man, I`m the man