Here's my keys, I want you to take 'em
I think I'm gonna need you to get back home
Hold on to my hat, I don't wanna lose it
I couldn't stand for something else to be gone
I'm sure you know the reason I'm here cryin'
I think you'll understand why

Tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger
I need to get to where I can't think of her
So tonight, I'm the designated drinker

I came here to get you to help me
I need a friend to see me through
I hated to call, I knew you wouldn't mind at all
I know you know I'd do the same for you
I'm not the kind that likes to drown my sorrow
I may hate myself tomorrow
Oh but

Tonight, I'm the designated drinker
I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger
I need to get to where I can't think of her
So tonight, I'm the designated drinker

We need to get to where we can't think of her
So tonight, we're the designated drinkers

Oh tonight, we're the designated drinkers