I met an illustrator with a pet alligator
Said he cried crocodile tears
and the vet bills were getting dear
But he knew of a loan shark with a home aquarium
I didn’t have a ticket, but he let me in
I didn’t have a ticket, he said just go in

Only mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the sun, the midday sun
Only mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the sun, the midday sun

I knew a ventriloquist, but she lied through her teeth
Now I need some honesty, so she showed me the best policy
At the еnd of the day, it’s the start of a new onе
I’d be sitting on the grass with an eye on the beach

Only mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the sun, the midday sun
Only mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the sun, the midday sun
Only mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the sun, the midday sun
Only mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the sun, the midday sun